Or never bothered to cultivate your sensuality as a woman. Attracting a partner is all about the dance of polarity.
Energy flows between positive and negative electrodes, anode and cathode, magnetic north and south.
From then on, that was your principal identity: The Smart One.
Especially if you had a sibling who was better looking than you, in which case she (or he) was The Pretty One.
Now you could be absolutely stunning (in which case you're both smart AND pretty and everyone hates you except for me -- call me, like, immediately), but your identity is still bound up in being The Smart One.
So maybe you dress frumpy and don't pay a lot of attention to your appearance.
From my observations, the following dating challenges seem to be common to most smart people. So whether you went (or should have gone) to the likes of Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT, Stanford, Columbia, Cornell, Swarthmore, Amherst, Dartmouth, Brown, Oxford, Cambridge, Berkeley, Penn, Caltech, Duke, read on: 1. Time spent studying, doing homework, and practicing the violin is time not spent doing other things -- like chasing boys or girls, which turns out is fairly instrumental in making you a well-rounded human. The writing of the books was precipitated by the endemic dating woes on the Harvard campus as I observed them as an advisor and, earlier, indulged in them as a student.Those kids graduate and pretty much continue to have the same dating woes -- only now with fewer single people around who happen to live in the same building and share meals with them every day. By avoiding eye contact, you are giving up one of the oldest signs of confidence and even dominance. Looking her in the eye when you ask her questions and when she responds shows her that you are confident in yourself, that you’re truly interested in her and that you are a big enough man to engage emotionally. Don’t keep your hands to yourself While we’re taught that touching other people should only be done in intimate settings, friendly touch is a great way to portray confidence and connect with your prospective date. Tap her on the shoulder to emphasis a punch line or a compliment. Don’t devalue yourself If you go into the situation believing she is too good for you, you’ve already lost the game. Determine whether you came on too strong or didn’t portray enough confidence, or if you have offended her or simply not piqued her interest. Don’t avoid eye contact Eye contact is the way humans connect.Unless you actually convey femininity as a woman or masculinity as a man, you're not going to attract a suitable companion of the opposite sex. You're exceptionally talented at getting in the way of your own romantic success.