New belief: I am good enough, and happiness is my birthright. We’ve all had experiences where the same thing keeps happening over and over with different people and situations. Now I see I wasn’t comfortable with someone treating me kindly and with respect.After flipping your negative belief, say the new belief with emotion, and write it down and display it in places where you’ll see it regularly. That’s a message that something needs to be done on part. I wasn’t in the right state of mind to receive this kind of love because I couldn’t give it to myself. "The mind is the most skilled Photoshopper -- it can rationalise anything and paint any picture of anyone, depending on our initial perspective. Communication is key." -- Erika Ettin, a dating coach who founded the dating site A Little Nudge 3. "Run from anyone who attempts to cross a boundary that you have set." Examples: * "You have said you do not want to go further sexually and they insist." * "You say you are not available on Sunday, but they push you to see them." * "You are not ready to have them meet your family members or friends, but they push you." * "They push you to date exclusively before you are ready." * "They want to move in or get married or set up a bank account before you want." * "They try to change the way you wear your hair or your clothes or anything else about you that feels like 'you,' and it makes you uncomfortable." -- Lisa Aronson Fontes, a psychologist who wrote the book "Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship" "When we see that somebody feels entitled to us doing more for them than what is equal in a relationship, that's a huge red flag that they are someone who uses people. Or the person says, 'Well, I can't right now,' when they're not really that busy. "If you find yourself justifying away what he does or says, even though these feel wrong in your gut, then that's a surefire red flag. "In a good relationship, a couple can and will talk through issues, listening to the other person's point of view and expressing his or her own. It's about expressing how something makes you feel and being heard. "I think [it shows] when we ask somebody for help because we're tired, or we're overwhelmed, or our plate is too full, and that person says, 'Yeah, I'll get to that,' and never does.Making this a priority doesn’t take anything away but just adds more happiness and confidence to our lives.Cristina is a lifestyle coach who helps women unite with their bodies and minds, reclaiming their health, confidence and energy to have the lifestyle they desire.
Example: Old belief: I’m not good enough, and I can’t be happy. Act as that person now, and aim to do this consistently. I did attract lots of nice guys too, but I would break up with them or find them too boring.
As therapists Iris Mc Cann, Rachel Winwood, and Dr.
Petra Boynton note in an article in the, "Being in a controlling relationship can begin in many ways, with many forms of abuse starting off as insidious and underhand ...
Next, visualize what being good enough means to you. Once the lesson is learned we can break the pattern. Once you start giving it to yourself, you too will be able to receive it.
The most important relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves.
Read on, and remember: trust your own gut, and don't let anyone talk you into a version of "love" that doesn't feel right to you.