Recently divorced, she was overwhelmed by the mere thought of dating again.
Yolanda's self-esteem was so damaged by her tumultuous breakup that she worried about her ability to start a new relationship, not to mention her rusty dating skills.
In particular, will you play hard to get or be an easy catch?
I call the manifestation of these standards one's "social price." The more you have to offer in a relationship, the more you can expect in return, thus increasing your appropriate social price.
In one study conducted at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, social psychologist Jerald G. D., found that nearly 50 percent of 18-year-olds go out at least once a week, compared with only approximately 25 percent of 32-year-olds.
After years of being in a relationship, putting yourself back in the singles market can be a daunting endeavor. After 19 years of waking up next to the same person, Yolanda*, a marketing consultant, suddenly found herself greeting mornings alone.
At the core, inaccurate social pricing is a by-product of low self-esteem and other negative self-emotions. "It can be the fear of being hurt, rejected or involved, and it can stem from a history of having been hurt or of traumatic relationships.
"Fear absolutely devastates some people," says clinical psychologist Michael S. People can be very proficient in other parts of their lives, but the fear of dating can make them stay alone or pine for the relationship they left." Others rebound or get involved in another relationship too soon.
With so many single adults out there, one might guess that there's also a lot of dating going on.
Instead, it seems that the older we get, the less we date.
Louisa takes Elite Singles through the steps you can take to be both confident and careful in navigating your way through dating after divorce.