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They shared mutual interests — traveling, learning languages, and dogs — and agreed to meet for lunch in Alexandria. On the flight back, she noticed that he was eyeing the movements of several young foreign-looking men. “I wondered, was our wedding a cover for an operation?

“It’s not like I saw him and thought, ‘Oh, he’s a hunk,’ ” the woman said. Her husband wouldn’t confirm or deny her suspicions “He just got very angry and said through gritted teeth, ‘I am not going to have you ruin my career.’ I was terrified. ” Her sense of being used grew more acute two years later when her husband asked her to visit a winery with their newborn daughter.

“He was average-looking, which I later learned made him good at his job.” By 2006, her man had come clean about his real profession. “I said, ‘No, unless you tell me what we’re getting into,’ ” the woman recalled.

He revealed the ulterior motive: A potential informant was meeting that day with a CIA colleague at the winery. The agency wanted to see how the informant would handle a surprising situation, the wife said she was told.

“[He] used me and our daughter I never felt safe, never knew who people were or why they were interested in us or why they were photographing us,” wrote the woman, who is in her 30s, in December.

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The husband did not return phone calls seeking comment, but his account of their marital difficulties is contained in court documents.) The two met in late 2005 on an online dating site. “Then I had a million questions, but he wouldn’t say more.” They got married later that year in a destination wedding. To bring you the best content on our sites and applications, Meredith partners with third party advertisers to serve digital ads, including personalized digital ads.Those advertisers use tracking technologies to collect information about your activity on our sites and applications and across the Internet and your other apps and devices.The details are typically buried in documents sealed by the courts.Only a handful of people get read-in, so to speak: divorce lawyers, marriage counselors and sometimes the agency’s attorneys.The officer, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to protect his family’s identity, said he asked the agency’s human resources office for the numbers in 2005 because he was managing a Middle East operations group and was worried about the post-Sept. When he learned how many marriages were imploding, he said, he urged his officers not to take back-to-back unaccompanied tours. “The real answer is we don’t know what is true about the divorce rate.” While plenty of CIA marriages last for decades, the agency acknowledges that its high-risk jobs “take a toll on relationships,” CIA spokesman Preston Golson said.

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